Jealousy reared its ugly head as I watched my now 11 week old soon cooing and smiling at the sweet woman who helps takes care of him while I'm at work. Didn't expect that one!
Becoming a new mom has brought out many thoughts and emotions and I never expected jealousy to come forth like it did.
As I tried to get over myself and tried to convince myself she would never "replace me" as his mom as well as the fact that I should be ELATED that he likes where he's at in childcare, I thought about the phrase of "It Takes a Village". My next thought was, "but Do I Want One? Oh how selfishness and identify get wrapped up in how someone responds to me. In this case it was my son. I only wanted him smiling at ME, having fun with ME, laughing with ME and content with ME. In many other cases jealousy shows up when someone wants to hang out with someone else rather than me or someone thinks another person is better than me in something I think I'm pretty good at.
The aspect of community comes up in my head that I do not always like. We need to share community and we need to share community with others around us as well as with each other within the community. Sometimes we do not want to share. I want the community for me but for no one else, because I need my needs met and no one else can meet another's. The flip side is, only I can meet that person's need and no one else can.
Learning to value and have community means learning to share community - the giving and the receiving. How are you sharing community?
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This is such a reality! Somehow we think of love as a limited or fixed quantity. If I give it to you, I don't have some for others; or vice versa, if you give it to someone else, I will be shorted! I believe In actuality, love multiplies by sharing and no one need be "shorted." But don't we all have those same feelings in many differing circumstances. In the midst of such a situation, a good friend challenged me to allow her to enjoy and love me and others without either losing and it truly expanded my understanding of love. I guess in some way it is how God loves....His love for you doesn't limit His love for me. Wow..
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