hurt

I've been studying, meditating, and writing a lot about Judges 16 lately. It's the story of Samson, a judge/deliverer/champion of Israel, who, like so many, loses his sense of mission because of his libido. All because of Delilah. The temptress. The wanton woman. The one motivated by greed. A stranger to love and honesty.

There is a pain that is so potent and yet so personal that words fail to describe it.

It's the circumstance whose description will never escape your lips.

You don't talk about it, but it defines you; whether you run from it, attempt to cure it, or try to ignore it.

You've tried doctors, positive thinking, dieting. All of it has failed. Then you've tried isolating (no one understands, anyway), or feigned apathy, or turned to something, anything that would help you forget or at least dull the pain.

"I'm sorry God, but You don't know what I'm talking about."