Richard, I struggle with the exact same problem, although in a different way. I have never acted on my homosexual inclinations, but have remained celibate my entire life (24 years). It is tough. It is lonely. It is sometimes hopeless. I know, because I'm there. And the church, the place where we should be able to take refuge and gain comfort amidst our life-long struggle offers us only mockery and scorn.
I am active in my church, but I know that I would be forced out of it if I ever revealed my struggle to my pastors or elders. Insult to injury.
Richard, I will pray for you, and would greatly appreciate your prayers for me. Perhaps we can be the church to each other, even over a distance, as our churches seem to be dropping the ball.
-SQ