Jim, I very much appreciate your thoughtful letter and your personal story. I am not one to be threatened or feel a need to insult those who believe as you do, and who hold the deep convictions that you do. I do not believe as you do, but I respect your beliefs. God is the only One who can give honor to His children as being obedient to Him, and I have no doubt that you will be rewarded for your obedience to your conviction and your understanding of God's Word and His will for you. In my understanding of the bigger picture of His Word, as I have explained, and in what I have experienced profoundly in my relationship with Him, I am being obedient to my deepest convictions regarding His Word and His will for me. I'll just give you a few thoughts on how I understand what you are speaking about, and my understanding of these things.

I see what you are saying about your "identity" not being found in your desires, but in your soul. I understand my identity as being who I am in my soul as well. My sexual orientation is not how I define my identity, any more than my hair color, eye color, or any other aspect of my natural makeup. It is an aspect of who I am, and who God made me to be. It is not "who I am," but it is certainly part of who I am in this life, and I would say that it is an important part of who I am. It is on the same lines as the "heterosexual" aspect of a person, and is part of the gift of life. But as far as my identity, this is found in who I am as a person, and as a born-again believer in Jesus Christ. If all were lost tomorrow, including any of my senses, physical mobility, ability to think rationally, or my life itself...I would still be who I am in Christ, which is eternal. You are separating your "natural sexual orientation" from "who you are," but at the same time, understanding that who you are is a "man." In my belief, this is part of who I am as a woman, and that appears to be where you disagree on this aspect. I am a woman...I'm not a man trapped in a woman's body, but I am a gay woman in my natural, God-given makeup. My "desires" are in the same category as the natural-born heterosexual's desires. You have chosen to deny your homosexual desires, but I don't believe that to permit this aspect of a relationship establishes it to be your identity itself, though I believe I understand what you are saying.

You seem to understand your sexual orientation as a "disorder"...I do not understand my natural sexual orientation as a disorder. If it could be shown to cause harm, through evidence or even compelling reasoning, I would agree that it should be denied of oneself, if we are to place God first. If something were to come into a person from some adverse experience in their life, as opposed to from birth, I would agree that "wholeness" would be found through healing from this experience. We are fearfully and wonderfully made in the womb by God. (Psalm 139) An accident of birth, a true disorder, has a definable, adverse consequence involved. (They are who they are eternally in Christ as well, and God is a God of hidden blessings sometimes.) Jim, you spoke of this as being "surface desires," but I don't see it this way. In the deepest "core" of my being, not in terms of the eternal soul that I am in Christ, but the person I was created to be in this life (viewing this in the same category as for the heterosexual person), I am still very much a gay woman.

To address very briefly the biblical "hierarchy" and what is said about marriage...let me just say that there are exceptions to this model: in the life of the single person, the Christian marriage where this does not play out, due to a desire for a more equal partnership, and yes, the same-sex relationship. The man may be the head of the household, but Paul seems to be speaking about much more than that, saying that "Christ is the head of the man, and the man is the head of the woman." To not strictly adhere to this model, I believe does not constitute something that is immoral. We all have our own relationship with God personally, and as I understand God's plan, He works through all of us as we avail ourselves, and as He pleases.

As to the complementary balance of the soul of the male and female that you are speaking of...it is evident in God's creation that all men and all women are not the created the same. There can be vast differences between men and between women. Some men are much more sensitive and emotional than other men, and some women are much more dominant, or even emotionally private, as you might associate with many men. As I see this, there could be a much better match between two men or two women, than between many male/female partnerships (as the divorce rate might suggest, but I would agree that there are also other issues involved there). A complementary experience does not simply fall along gender lines, and we do not have to be opposites in every way to compliment each other in many ways. We are all people, and we are all different. What you are saying is probably true "as a rule," but not "as a principle" across the board, which is why I believe we need to be flexible in our thinking about these things. Some people are created gay, or one might prefer to say with a homosexual orientation. I don't believe we are in too much disagreement on this point, and though I don't want to presume to speak for whatever your complete understanding of this may be, I believe you are a testament to this fact.

I might add that you seem to be very satisfied in your heterosexual relationship; you obviously have an adequate supply of an intimate, physical attraction to your wife, considering that she is staying married to you, and this is obviously how God has led you...but it could not be that way for me. I have no attraction to men at all. They are fine as friends and individuals to talk to, but the concept of intimacy with a man has no appeal for me whatsoever. If I were married to a man, this would be a serious injustice to both him and to myself. Any notion of how much better heterosexual sex might be is not important to me, because it is incomparable. More personal information...there are no abuse or neglect issues for me either. I was raised in a very healthy home, and never had any abuse experience in my life. In my understanding, what God calls "ideal" and what He calls "moral" is not going to be rendered along the lines of gender on that day, but will be rendered in a different way. You are obedient to what you believe to be true, as am I, and God will be the Judge of all people.

One thing I want to say, in defense of myself against many accusers (one not being Jim)...my understanding of this issue was not born out of any fleshly desire for sexual activities. I have always known that I was attracted to females, as of age twelve, but I never saw this as being something that would be fulfilled. I assumed that I would do what everyone else does, as a girl growing up in a small town in the 1970s. When I was 18, I felt deeply that I was called to serve God in a life of ministry. I later understood that I would not be getting married, and that there was no place for a husband in how I now saw my future, and I was very happy to realize this truth the year after I gave my life to God. I took the Bible in the same way that most people do, and this was not even a remote issue for me, or something I thought much about. I was very contented in how I understood my life and my calling from God, and the eternal rewards that would follow. I absorbed myself in His Word, and His music, and the ministries of all the great teachers.

It was not until my early twenties that I began to listen to a lot of talk in the media about the issue and all other issues, when I heard many untruths being spoken by Christians about the issue, and sometimes what I would consider disregard and even hate for people for whom this is a reality. Being in Denver Colorado, it is a very prominent issue here, which opened my eyes to this reality as it exists for many people (though still very much a minority of course). I began to see many truths of Scripture that are not spoken of in the church, and listened to many distortions from Christians, in the media and personally, and this is where my understanding of the issue began to be formed.

The point that I want to make here, is that I never looked at the Bible from the perspective of looking for how I might justify my desire or attraction to women. It happened quite from above, and this is what God has led me to do, to write about these truths of His Word, and His love and acceptance for His gay and lesbian children. This is a biblical explanation for how and why He will not be condemning these individuals as immoral, disobedient, and destined for hell. In answer to Sean, I'm sure many, many people would agree together that "Lynn has misinterpreted the Bible." But the fact is that God will be the One to say who understood and who didn't. I'll address his post briefly in a while.

I am writing this book and blog, for the sake of bringing out these much unanswered and ignored truths of Scripture, and I am genuinely open to being shown what anyone believes I have misstated about God's Word. I wrote a slightly revised version of why I ended the "comments" section in my post, "A Better Method..." but I maintain my openness to the whole picture on the issue, and I will write about all that I might see in this regard. Jim, I may post your letter on my blog, with your permission of course, because I believe people who were born with a homosexual orientation should see all that can be said truthfully about the issue, in the sense of how this is to you and has worked for you, and I will work to promote the whole picture for as many people as I can reach...including reaching people for the truth of Jesus Christ and His glorious gospel, which is incomparably the most important truth of all. This presentation of the issue is the subject of many insults, and God will sort out and judge the hearts of all people. Again, biology is not rebellion, lust, or idolatry, and God loves all of His children with an infinite abundance and promise.

Jim, please contact me through my blog if you would like, and let me know if I can use your well-written letter in my book and blog, or you can write a more complete version if you would like to contribute that way. I understand if you would rather not, but I find your story compelling and important for this study. It's possible you've written something more extensive that I could read. All that may be necessary is a link to your letter on my blog, so we'll see, but I hope to hear from you. God bless you and thank you.

Lynn