First, let me state that I appreciate the tone and the open dialogue that Lynn has used.

This matter is very real to me. I was raised in a Christian home and put my trust in Christ at a young age. At some point in grade school, I increasingly became attracted to men. Living in a very conservative home, I had no clue or context to understand what was going on or that I was having homosexual desires. It wasn't until middle school that I even started to understand.

At the same time, I felt called to be a pastor. It was while attending Dallas Seminary (I had Dr. Bock for Greek class for 1 Corinthians) that the two worlds collided head on. That began a journey for me. I have wrestled through this and have come to a few firm convictions.

First, while every part of my being wanted to become intimate with a man, I have come to realize that this is not my identity. I am not a gay man. I am a man -- period. And when the biblical understanding of manhood is developed (which is very extensive), it is clear that a man was designed for a woman. This was not an ignoring of my physical desires. It was taping into an even deeper, core desire that was in my soul. This can't be "proven" by psychology or science, but theology seems to correlate well with reality as I have experienced it and as I observe in others.

Second, if a man at his core is a man in his very soul (and a woman the same as a woman), then I believe the most unloving thing I could ever do is suggest he get or stay involved in a sexually intimate same-sex relationship (and the same for a woman). While it would deal with the surface desires, it would actually damage the very soul of the person.

There is no way I could explain all of this in a short comment in a blog. I can only state what has been true for me. It took 10 years of struggle and working through this, but I am now very happily married and have a son. Yes, I still am attracted to the same sex. But that is not my identity. And I can say with full conviction that my wife complements me in a soulish way that a man never could. Our relationship is not just based on my physical arousal. It is based so much deeper than that. While I have no doubt that same-sex relationships can be very deep and loving, they can't complement each other in the same way as a man and woman do in their soul any more than they can physically match and complement each other in their body parts. In other words, without a physical bodily change, gay sex is unable to replicate heterosexual sex in how a man and woman come together and are able to reproduce. The complementing in gay sex physically and soulishly is changed and adapted from what it was meant to be. Yes, it works on one level, but I find it a pale imitation of the original.

Bottom line, my identity has nothing to do with my desires. It has everything to do with my soul, and as a Christian under the New Covenant, my soul has already been transformed. So at this point, to live a gay lifestyle would be a violation of the very foundation of who I am. So while it is still a temptation at times, it is never an option that holds any appeal in the light of day.

Let me just add, knowing how hard the struggle can be, I definitely do not judge those who embrace the gay lifestyle. But at the same time, it would be unloving for me to accept it as the best choice for him or her to make.